Hatred

I had not felt this emotion for  a long long time till some days ago. Back in the school days hatred was a common thing. All the ganging up, gossip, spreading rumors..the isolation from everyone else..being an “outsider” no matter how many years I stay in this place….Been there, Done that! But after I went to higher secondary school, I’ve not really felt hatred, not really disliked people. Looking back, the school time bickering seems stupid. The flared egos and the enmity seems baseless. I’d like to say “no hard feelings” now, but I’m afraid I lost some of the most beautiful years of my life learning (but not accepting) such dirty politics.

So when the feeling came back to me some days ago, I was really unhappy. I don’t like hating people. I don’t like hating people who won’t explain a concept to me since it will help me solve a math problem faster than them. People who take positions of power only to usurp all the benefits and perks; without taking responsibility. People who are least bothered about their contribution towards a team effort. People who need a favor from you, and yet want you to bend your schedule according to their preferences.

So where did I get all these weird interactions with people? College of course. I don’t like the air of selfishness and hatred in my college these days. I am the Editor of the Society of Electronics and Telecommunications Engineers (SENATE for short) and I’m learning quite a few things about “public relations”. I’ve realized that my book of politics needs a lot of new chapters to be added. I’ve also realized that I’ll have to probably add new chapters to it all my life!!

With the Job-placements coming up next year, people are beginning to look at the person sitting next to them and wonder..”How am I better than him/her?”, “How can I impress the professors more than he/she does”,”What can I do to stop him/her from getting better than me at everything?”. The first two questions are fine. You have to look out for yourself right? But it’s the last question that bothers me the most.  It upsets me to see all the silent war-fare. People who think “What benefit will i get out of this?” disgust me, and I suddenly realize I’ve got to become like this soon. It’s not about competition anymore. It’s not about academic excellence either. It’s about who can keep the most people happy at the same time.

And I hate hating.

Not that I’m perfect myself. But it still hate it.

But i also realize I’ve got to live with it. So here’s to my new experiences, and many more to come.