Change

I was watching the movie The Bridges of Madison County yesterday. Frankly I found it pretty boring, but some of the things the characters say are thought provoking.

Change is something most people are afraid of. The only way to fight it is to consider it as one of the things in life that you can count on. When you do that, all the perspectives change. There are, after all very few things you can count on.

Theses lines remind me of something else that I had read. There is only one certainty in the world, that everything is uncertain.Those lines really made me think. Is it not true, how we expect things to be the same forever? How scared we are of the uncertainties of life? So what do we do? We make a paradigm shift. We start counting on the fact that everything is going to change. That nothing is permanent. That things will always get better or worse. Followers of Murphy will say they always get worse, but mostly all of us will be hoping they always get better.

Placement season in college always means loads of tension and competition. You look at the people around you in the room and make your own totem pole. I think I am better than him, him, her and her. Some get their jobs, you are one of them. (you thank all your lucky stars and gods and goddesses for that). And then you think of the big topic. CHANGE. Things that you were aware of, but never gave a serious thought to, come to your mind. The thought of living on your own, the thought of earning your first penny, the thought of being surrounded by strangers. Thoughts of having finally begun the unending quest of knowing what you want and getting there. Thoughts of finally having to accept responsibility of your own actions. CHANGE.

Just as situations change, people change too. A mother of two kids says she doesn’t know her husband.  When she goes for foreign trip with him, she feels she is with a stranger. It is because people are always changing. Always adapting, always adjusting. You think you really know a person? Think again. They have already changed by the time you have come close to understanding them. The trick, then is to see if you are still happy. If you still  manage to laugh and cry and share, and most important of all, have long conversations with them, you will probably know them best.  This generation of young people will not marry for social/financial/economic security. They will look for emotional security. Thats when you start counting on change. Hoping that it ill only help you face life better, help you understand some of the mysteries, and teach you to just forget about those that cannot be solved.

Like Sheryl crow says…a change will do you good.

Lessons

I have lived really short and relatively uneventful life. And yet some lessons have been learnt.

1. Promise yourself that you will do one small selfless act everyday. (Even smiling and being polite when you really don’t feel like it will suffice) It feels great!!
2. There are two kinds of aam admi : One who does everything that he is sure will not be harmful to him. One who doesn’t do anything that is not beneficial to him.(One will stop and help when he sees a road accident, the other will probably stare at it some time and move on)
3. You are usually clueless about the things that people in the world are going through. News is only what the media decides to tell the world, what you grasp is only things that are likely to affect you directly.
4. First you need to overcome adversity, then you need to become extremely rich..then you can become Oprah.
5. One of the best joys in the world is seeing a baby who has just learned to walk wobble unsteadily towards you, with trust and admiration written all over his face.
6. Yummy food and loud music may be junk, but they sure clear your mind like nothing else can.
7. All relationships (including family friends and loved ones) are bounded by certain limits. Make sure you are just being sentimental when you say “What would I do without you”. You might just be given the chance to find out.
8. If you want to be popular, be nice. If you say you don’t want popularity, don’t crib about the horrible public you are surrounded by.
9. Don’t ask too many questions about life. Life is a boon. Remember that.
10. Your family is your best asset. Every time you feel like complaining, remind yourself that you are taking too much for granted.