Friend

I wasn’t looking for it, but some how it came, and found me.
Before I had a chance to react, it wrapped it’s warmth around me.
Like a thief in the night, it has come and gone.
I have nothing, but that vision to reflect upon.

Until chance comes again, I’ll let my thoughts dance upon the wind.
All day long, in my mind, I walk love’s lonely street.
Like a tired man that longs to sit, but just can’t find a seat.
Then, there it was again, up ahead, to light my way.

Only to vanish once more, just like all my yesterdays.
Until chance comes again, I’ll let my thoughts dance upon the wind.
I don’t know where I’m going, and where I’ve been isn’t much to speak of.
I just know my heart is always showing, leading me to some far off love.

Just when I give up the fight.
Here it comes to make the bad things good, and the wrong things right.
Only to leave me lost and lonely again.
Drifting away as my thoughts dance upon the wind.

It has a name, I think they call it friend.

I came across this poem when I was searching for something  to write to people who have made a difference in my life during my time in college. We just finished bidding farewell to each other. Its just four year but so many things have never happened in my life in such a short span of time. I’m sure everyone will carry loads of memories. The bunking, the picnics, the screw ups, the tears, the laughs, the first crushes, the broken hearts, the new beginnings… so much to remember… so much to forget. A lot to forgive and some to hold on to for a lifetime .

Just like all important things in life, that are invisible to the eye and illusive to the brain, friendship baffles me. I’ve picked up some gems, (using that analogy i could say i’ve discarded some pebbles :p ) What baffles me is how much changes and yet some things will always remain.

Everyone has their own definitions of what a friend should be. Some one to hang out with, some one who can keep you smiling, someone who knows everything about you, and likes you inspite of all your short-comings. All these are just the basic requirements we all grew up with as kids. But as we grow up, there are a lot more things expected from a true friend. Things that really cant be put to words. Things that inspire vague posts like these :p There is so much to be said… maybe some day I will.. but not yet… for now… this post is all i can come up with.

Stupid Theory

My stupid theory on why Odd Semesters (1st, 3rd, 5th, 7th) are more difficult to answer than Even Semesters.

1) No one likes to get up early on a cozy wintry  morning (not to study the theory behind smith charts and bode plots and M and N circles at least) We answer our odd sems in December!!

2) Study holidays for Odd sems start exactly when Diwali holidays for the younger brats are going on. It is really hair-raising to study when the colony kids are busy building a Narkasur right below your window, or worse, they are burning it. (A Narkasur is a huge effigy made mainly of hay and stuffed with fire crackers  which is burnt with lots of celebration in the middle of the night to depict downfall of all evil)

3) For the last two years the IFFI in Goa (International Film Festival of India) coincides exactly ( with a tolerance of 2 days) with our exam dates. It is a nice change to see our beautiful city get even prettier, but its awful when they screen movies at the beach for the general public and you can hear every single word of the dialogues, sitting at your study table, not to mention the half an hour fireworks show that follows.

4) In comparison, the Even semester exams coincide with the beginning of the rainy season somewhere in June. I always have associated the beginning of rains with the beginning of the new academic year at school. The smell of the earth, the fresh leaves and the gusty winds remind me of the smell of new books, covering all note books with brown paper, long lines at the book stalls for new text books. Waiting to find out which new teachers are to teach us, and of course the new umbrellas/raincoats ( i have a record of losing my umbrella every single year..mum has been very patient with me, i am thankful). All that nostalgia only helps me study better.

5) With the Even sems, it is more a matter of maintaining good marks, rather than trying increasing your average percentage, which is the case in the Odd sems.

Doodle art

Boy do I hate Signals And Systems!! Not that it is boring and our professor tries really hard to make us understand. But some subjects are just so “hatable”. Theres no explanation, really.

Hatred

I had not felt this emotion for  a long long time till some days ago. Back in the school days hatred was a common thing. All the ganging up, gossip, spreading rumors..the isolation from everyone else..being an “outsider” no matter how many years I stay in this place….Been there, Done that! But after I went to higher secondary school, I’ve not really felt hatred, not really disliked people. Looking back, the school time bickering seems stupid. The flared egos and the enmity seems baseless. I’d like to say “no hard feelings” now, but I’m afraid I lost some of the most beautiful years of my life learning (but not accepting) such dirty politics.

So when the feeling came back to me some days ago, I was really unhappy. I don’t like hating people. I don’t like hating people who won’t explain a concept to me since it will help me solve a math problem faster than them. People who take positions of power only to usurp all the benefits and perks; without taking responsibility. People who are least bothered about their contribution towards a team effort. People who need a favor from you, and yet want you to bend your schedule according to their preferences.

So where did I get all these weird interactions with people? College of course. I don’t like the air of selfishness and hatred in my college these days. I am the Editor of the Society of Electronics and Telecommunications Engineers (SENATE for short) and I’m learning quite a few things about “public relations”. I’ve realized that my book of politics needs a lot of new chapters to be added. I’ve also realized that I’ll have to probably add new chapters to it all my life!!

With the Job-placements coming up next year, people are beginning to look at the person sitting next to them and wonder..”How am I better than him/her?”, “How can I impress the professors more than he/she does”,”What can I do to stop him/her from getting better than me at everything?”. The first two questions are fine. You have to look out for yourself right? But it’s the last question that bothers me the most.  It upsets me to see all the silent war-fare. People who think “What benefit will i get out of this?” disgust me, and I suddenly realize I’ve got to become like this soon. It’s not about competition anymore. It’s not about academic excellence either. It’s about who can keep the most people happy at the same time.

And I hate hating.

Not that I’m perfect myself. But it still hate it.

But i also realize I’ve got to live with it. So here’s to my new experiences, and many more to come.

Are engineers more imaginative?

I’m almost halfway into my 3rd year….on my way to becoming an Electronics and Telecommunications Engineer. Supposedly the clever guys end up doing engineering and the cleverest do medicine . They say this concept is a thing of the past. Parents don’t really pressure their kids to become engineers and doctors anymore….or do they?????

I would say things are such that even today most kids who get admissions into engineering due to the marks they score in their 12th Std. boards (and lately the entrance tests) have only a vague idea of what skills they are required to use during engineering. I remember my first day in college when our Engineering Graphics Sir(thats one monster of a subject with loads of imaginary stuff) asked us why we had chosen E n TC..and none of us had a really convincing answer other than maybe that we scored best in the entrance tests and those who score best usually choose EnTC !!!! My how dumb we felt at the time!!!

When you finally think the ratta- days are over, you find yourself with physics and chemistry in the first year, with hardly any problems and loads of theory…and you go “what the…..!!!” And when the time comes in 2nd year for the real applicative subjects, you start wishing you had chemistry all over again instead of this! Because at least ratta makes sure you can get some marks. Only an engineer knows the importance of 40 marks.

It is by third year that your brain starts adjusting to the ways of an engineering life. And then you start surprising yourself with your own imaginative skills. My professor has to just mention some wild concept and my imagination kicks into overdrive, on autopilot. We are all used to it by now. Most of the things in engineering are so very conceptual that unless you visualise it in your mind’s eye there is no way you are going to understand. And then comes the hurdle of putting what you are thinking of into words. You know what you have understood, but you cannot tell how it works.

And the symptoms show up all the time. A friend of mine can go on rattling about a some imaginary device till you tell him to stop. Another friend of mine thinks it is essential to have a wild imagination if you want to code or write programs. She says you are lost unless you have a 3-D image of the object revolving in your mind All in all, I’m starting to get a feeling that maybe engineers are more imaginative than any arts student. Electronics students have to keep imagining circuits and electrons and energy. If the very “flow” of current is imaginary (electrons don’t actually travel all the length from your switch to your fan when you switch it on…do they??) you can imagine how “electronics” will be I.T and computer sciences have to imagine cycles and cycles of things that happen in microseconds, control that doesn’t really exist, technology that takes decisions but cannot really “think” I’m sure they must be wondering sometimes if they are dealing with reality or fiction. Mechanical engineers, i think need the most powerful imaginations. They have to imagine how things move, how load is distributed, how energy and force are translated. But at least they deal with physical things that can be touched and seen

Well it is definitely a roller coaster ride. So maybe the wild imagination is just our way of escaping the relatively mundane things that we learn about. After all, engineers are the ones who convert dreams into reality. We are the ones who convert fiction into fact. And you know what..sometimes I’m really proud of that.